A specimen arrived in the clinical laboratory in a urine cup that looked like it had survived a natural disaster. The lid was covered in something brown, the sides were greasy, and a mysterious stringy substance clung to the bottom. The label said “STOOL,” but the container said “URINE.” The lab tech stared at it for a solid ten seconds before calling the nurse. “I just need to clarify what’s in this container.” The nurse replied confidently, “Oh, that’s the patient’s stool sample. He ran out of containers.”
The tech took a deep breath, put on a second pair of gloves, and opened the lid just enough to confirm that the smell was, in fact, a biohazard all by itself. Inside was a substance that looked like refried beans left in a hot car for three days. Before the tech could even process what she was seeing, her coworker walked by, took one sniff, and immediately turned around. “Nope. Whatever that is, it’s above my pay grade.”
The specimen was eventually rejected because it was improperly collected. When the nurse called to inform the patient, she asked him to collect a new sample in the proper container. There was a long pause on the phone before the patient asked, “Do you really need another one? I thought I gave you guys enough for the whole hospital!” The lab tech overheard the conversation and quietly whispered, “Sir, we have enough for the whole county.”
Submitted by:
Alex Friedman
Laboratory Technologist
South Dakota, USA
