Category: LOL Moments

Nurse from the ER calls and asks “What is the normal range on a blood alcohol?" I thought it was a joke so I paused and didn’t say anything for a moment.  Then I heard and irritated voice say “Well, don’t you know?" I responded ”Zero, there is no normal amount of alcohol ever found in… Continue reading What’s Normal?

I had a paramedic draw blood for me one day. He came up to me after and said, “the gold tube clotted, so I threw it out.” I looked at him a little sideways and said “the clot tube clotted?” He didn’t catch it and actually repeated back, “Yeah. The clot tube clotted so I… Continue reading Clot Tube Clotted

One day as I was processing pap smears, I received specimens with unlikely heath histories. First one was from a patient whose age is like 52, LMP is listed as postpartum. Unusual but not unheard of. Next patient from the same clinic is 68 and also "postpartum". I know for certain something is up. Called… Continue reading Postpartum Specimens

I went to draw a guy back when I was a phlebotomist. Both his arms were under the sheet. He told me they were amputated. I freaked and told the RN I can't draw him and why. She then took me back to his room, patient was laughing his ass off... Yeah, he has full… Continue reading No Arms

First week in my histology training rotation, I got an unlabeled surgical specimen and stopped the RN before she got 5 feet away. Name was on it, but not what the specimen was. She said it was just a piece of ass. So I wrote that in the log book, thinking it was a wart… Continue reading Piece of Ass

"Hello, can i have the results in five minutes?" The doctor asked. "Yeah sure", I answered while going through his lab requests. "Oh noo I can't," I apologized. "But you have requested for an ESR." "Yeah, and what's wrong with that???" He replied. It takes an hour. (While looking at my Westergren tube) "What? How?"… Continue reading 5-Minute ESR

Some of the tests we send our reference lab has a really long turnaround...like 6 weeks. Doctor: Have you had the results yet? Me: When did you send the sample to us? Doctor: This morning. Me: Sorry, it's a six week turnaround. Next day another sample for the same patient and the same tests arrived.… Continue reading Results Back Yet?

I have worked in a clinical lab for 30+ years . I am a histotech in name only, because I chose to work in a physicians office as a lab assistant. I have many cringe-worthy stories, however, this one comes to mind frequently. The town I’m from is relatively small, and right in the middle… Continue reading Glowing Green Salsa

I had a patient a few years ago ask if they could mail their hemoccult screen in because they live over an hour away. I told them that would be fine. So about a week later I get called to admissions to pick up a letter for the lab. Turns out it was an ENTIRE… Continue reading Poop Express Mail

An elderly gentleman came in the lab for a routine urinalysis. I greeted him and gave him a cup.  "The bathroom's over there", I told him. Few minutes later, the patient came out of the bathroom. "Thanks." he said while returning the empty container. "But there was a toilet in there, so I didn't need… Continue reading Bathroom Talk