Category: LOL Moments

When you’re new on the job, you are likely to focus on what you need to do, and kinda tend to not notice the small details around you. One day, I went to draw blood on a patient. I was new at that facility, and was basically just focused on what I had to do—including… Continue reading Make a Fist, Please…

I went to the nursing home near the hospital to draw blood from one of their residents. As I entered the patient's room, there were two nurses in the room working on getting him dressed and ready for breakfast. I introduced myself and stepped on the side to get my stuff ready. One of the… Continue reading Where’s the Cow?

I was pulling on my gloves before drawing a patient and noticed one had a finger missing. I say to the patient,” oh boy. I wonder if there is a spare finger in the glove box.” Patient says, “Maybe there’s one for me.” He holds up his hand and only has 3 fingers and a… Continue reading Defective Glove

So, best I have…phlebotomy time, and the break room is next to the lab. I’m standing in the doorway eating black cherries and a specimen cup was brought in. A diabetic patient in the ER had a necrotic toe pretty much falling off.  They collected the toe and set the patient up for further surgery.… Continue reading Necrotic Cherries

Years ago, I had a doctor's office receptionist call the lab. She said that the doctor wanted to know what the expected 'orgasm' was for so and so's culture results. There was dead silence on the other end of the phone (while I was trying not to LMAO), then I heard what must have been… Continue reading Oops Wrong Word

You're probably wondering what FBAD stands for. It's my very own acronym for "Fasting Blood Any Disease" testing. Here's when I came up with it. As I was getting ready to draw blood from a patient, he asked if I can diagnose any disease in his body by doing one and only test. Me :… Continue reading FBAD Testing

We all know that the hood is THE place to fart. One day in the lab, I really had to fart so bad. So I went to the hood, turned it on, and waited until the blower starts. I then released that nasty fart that had been incubating inside my tummy (It’s been growling for… Continue reading The Hood’s Betrayal

It was my first day back from a 3-week vacation to the Philippines. Because of the recent coronavirus scare and knowing that my patients are old and somewhat immunocompromised, I decided to wear a face mask while at work even though I felt fine, just to be safe. Enter Mrs. Grumpypants, one of the meanest… Continue reading Monkey Who Shits Its Pants

One day at work I heard the funniest short conversation with a field engineer. Field engineer: “Could you move that six inches?” Tech: (moves analyzer approximately three inches) Field engineer: “Someone’s been lying to you!” Rest of staff is dying. 🤣🤣 Submitted by:Diane LaneMedical Technologist/ScientistMichigan, USA

I heard a guy once who was loudly complaining about all the blood he had to have drawn. It was, like, 5 tubes. Just whining and carrying on! At the same time I was drawing a woman for her initial pregnancy panel. She and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. I asked… Continue reading Men Are So Whiny