Category: LOL Moments

I had a patient a few years ago ask if they could mail their hemoccult screen in because they live over an hour away. I told them that would be fine. So about a week later I get called to admissions to pick up a letter for the lab. Turns out it was an ENTIRE… Continue reading Poop Express Mail

An elderly gentleman came in the lab for a routine urinalysis. I greeted him and gave him a cup.  "The bathroom's over there", I told him. Few minutes later, the patient came out of the bathroom. "Thanks." he said while returning the empty container. "But there was a toilet in there, so I didn't need… Continue reading Bathroom Talk

I work at a small town laboratory where we also do drug screen collections for Occupational Health. One day, we had a guy in his late 40's who came in for his pre-employment drug screen. To rule out specimen adulteration, one of the things we do is to check urine temperature. Unfortunately for this guy,… Continue reading Thanks for the Pee, Mom

I was asked to go into a clinic patients room and draw him in there as he were having a procedure done next. I walked in and the guys pants were around his ankles. Seeing this I backed up and said “I’m sorry “and as I turned around to leave , I was trying to… Continue reading Turn Out The Lights

I was in the middle of drawing blood on a patient, when suddenly I felt the urge to fart. Normally, I stand with my legs a little bit apart when drawing a patient. So, in order to prevent the humiliating release of that unwanted internal air, I had to change the angle of my legs… Continue reading Close Call

Another busy morning in the lab and I was assigned to work at our phlebotomy area. I called the next patient by her first name and this elderly grandma came up. She was quite nice and enjoyed a good chat. I did my usual small talk to make the patient feel more at ease with… Continue reading Poke Me Any Time

An elderly gentleman around his 70's came in to the lab to have his blood drawn. I've known him quite well. I even went to school with his son a few years back. He has always been quite nice to everyone in the lab. Believe me he has never been the creepy old man type.… Continue reading Best. Compliment. Ever

An 11-year old in the ER needed her blood drawn. She came with her dad and by the looks of things, she seems pretty unhappy that her dad brought her to the ER. The nurse also warned me that she is a difficult patient and is pretty manipulative. I went into the room and introduced… Continue reading Be My Daddy

A patient walked in to the lab to have his blood drawn. He sat down and I noticed that he was wearing a brown shirt with a small embroidery on the side that says "Kiss My Bass" I tried to work up a conversation and made a comment, "Sorry, but I'm not going to kiss… Continue reading Kiss My Bass

I'm a Clinical Cytogeneticist. Its worrying how little some doctors know about genetics. Doctor phoned to discuss his patient's results for a teenage boy who wasn't going through puberty properly. We analyzed his chromosomes and found he was an XX male (SRY gene translocates to an X). I explain the result and the implications for… Continue reading Girls and Boys