Category: LOL Moments

When drawing blood in a dementia unit, a lady told me that if I stuck her with a needle, she was gonna punch me in the face. So, I said the first thing that came to my mind. I said, "If you punch me in the face, I'm gonna tell your mom"! She settled right… Continue reading Punch In The Face

So during my clinicals, I went to a room to collect a blood sample. Wellll, the patient was naked, uncovered and massaging himself, completely unashamed. I proceeded to cover him so I could draw his blood, but I couldn't get the blood. I called someone to come help me, and walked back into the room… Continue reading Naked and Shameless

I work in a lab that does a lot of Covid-19 testing. Sometimes when a patient is really sick and not getting better, a doctor can request a Cycle Threshold value from our PCR test to get a better idea of the disease course. This special test needs a microbiologists approval.  I get a call… Continue reading No Psychos Allowed in the Lab

I had a phlebotomist walk into the main lab, exclaiming “I need something stiff and hard.” She was looking for a clipboard to write on, but I thought our manager was going to fall out of his chair. He was laughing so hard and his face was beet red! Submitted by:Anna BeanMedical Technologist/ScientistUSA

This happened when I worked as a phleb in a plasma center. We had a lot of bikers who donated. The first time they came in, we would get a couple of SST'S for an SPE, LFT, RPR. The intake tech told him to give them to the phlebotomist before they stuck him. He hands… Continue reading They’re Wet!

I had a coworker that had IBS who's been having "issues" all morning. We had a patient that came in for a stool collection kit for C-Diff. We asked all patients to refrain from doing stool collections in the lab restroom (only because C-Diff is highly contagious). Unbeknownst to me the patient did use the… Continue reading Bathroom Accident

A patient brought in a stool sample to the lab. The stool container was so tight that I used much force to open it up. The poop got out too and jumped out! We tried searching for it, but we couldn't find it. At tea break, I reached into my lab coat pocket and found… Continue reading Missing Poop

That one time I took a call from a guy who needed to collect a post vas semen specimen. He was very nervous: "Ummm, I need to give a, um, sample" I basically had to say the words for him. Me: "A semen sample?" Him: "Yes! Do I need to make an appointment?" Me: "Nope,… Continue reading Post Vas Appointment

A patient was supposed to do a set of stool samples in a parapak.  I wrote out full instructions about catching the stool in a clean container with no urine, scooping it into each vial of preservative, labeling them and bringing them back, etc.  I made him sign the directions to show he had read them and… Continue reading Tough Instructions

I was working the outpatient desk one day when a patient came in carrying a little red stool. I asked him if I could help him and he handed me the stool. He told me that the doctor told him if he had a red stool to bring it to the lab as soon as… Continue reading Red Stool