Author: Joseph Murdock

Right after his visit with his doctor, an elderly came to the lab to have his blood drawn. He was cussing and swearing pretty loud. I tried to keep him calm and hopefully start a conversation. "What seems to be the problem?" I asked. He showed me his discharge summary. "You see here? The doctor… Continue reading Major S.O.B.

I was doing my morning draws one day and I came across this patient in the Neuro unit. She was enjoying her breakfast of toast and cold cereal. "How's your breakfast?", I asked. "Everything tastes pretty good!", she said. "Except I don't like the Kentucky jelly. It tasted funny." "Huh? What's that?" I said confusedly.… Continue reading Kentucky Jelly

I work at a small town laboratory where we also do drug screen collections for Occupational Health. One day, we had a guy in his late 40's who came in for his pre-employment drug screen. To rule out specimen adulteration, one of the things we do is to check urine temperature. Unfortunately for this guy,… Continue reading Thanks for the Pee, Mom

We all know that the hood is THE place to fart. One day in the lab, I really had to fart so bad. So I went to the hood, turned it on, and waited until the blower starts. I then released that nasty fart that had been incubating inside my tummy (It’s been growling for… Continue reading The Hood’s Betrayal